Category: Let's talk
Hi All, I was wondering how to prevent yourself from crying. I cry allot, and I think I cried about 3 times this week. I don't want anyone to know that I cry, because I don't want to be made fun of. I just don't know how to prevent or stop crying when I need to cry. I just get sad or worried easily, and I wish I didn't. All, if any, ideas will be greatly appreciated.
Why would you want to stop crying? Crying is a wonderful thing, I don't care what anyone says. It's a natural way for the body to relieve stress, anxiety, sadness, and even good, positive feelings, such as happiness and joy. Crying is a great way to feel better. It's actually proven that, when you cry, certain chemicals are released, and this is what brings on the calming effect. In my opinion, you do not want to try to stop yourself from crying. You'll just end up making yourself feel much worse. Don't try to hold it back. Just let it out.
Well, you're right but I feel so ashamed, so childish and so embarrassed when I cry, especially when I cry in public. I never get over that feeling.
People who do not cry, or who make fun of those that are crying, is, in my opinion, much weaker than those who cry a lot.
You have nothing to be ashamed of if you cry easily, really.
I second that, Q. Don't ever feel ashamed or embarrassed to cry. Crying is a natural thing to do, and it's your body's way of coping. It doesn't matter if your sad, happy, whatever, if you need to do it, cry. Cry softly, cry loudly, just don't feel ashamed to show that you have feelings. Put it this way, wouldn't you rather have people kno that you have feelings and aren't afraid to show them, then people think that your an unfeeling person who doesn't show emotions at all? It's also good for your health and well being to cry. so, cry, cry, cry!
I agree, I was ashamed to cry at first but you do feel better. you can't always hide your feelings just go with them. Smile
I also agree with the rest. The only time i don't like people crying is when some people specially girls do it so people feel sorry for them and can't say no to them. I hope you understand what i mean.
For example a wife might say to her husband let's go for holidays abroad or give me money to buy something and if the husband say no the wife will start crying and say you don't love me and things like that so the husband eventually will have to say ok lol. But in general crying is a good thing.
It depends what you're crying about. If you're crying about trivial matters and you don't want to, you need to alter the way in which you think about and react to things.
Katie, As many have said here, crying is OK. I cry easily, but it isn't always appropriate. I know from some of your posts that you've sought out on-line counseling. Perhaps you should see a counselor in person. Again, based on some of your other posts, you seem lonely, sad, and depressed. Perhaps if you saw someone, they might be able to help you address some of these issues. Try where you go to college, or community mental health programs that could help you with services for little or no cost.
Lou
Crying is perfectly natural, unless you're a human hosepipe who gets worked up over really little things. but yes, some professional counsiling would be a very good place for you to start.
If one is crying most of the time, it may be a sign of depression, or another issue that may be happening. It is in my oppinion, that one, should be able to cry, if it is a cry that sweeps over you like a tidal wave of grief, that cannot be quelled.
Growing up, I was taught that crying was, and is a sign of weakness, but I've slowly learned that some of the strongest people I know, are not afraid to show there emotions. It takes a strong man to admit when he is sad, it takes an even stronger one to be unabashedly unafraid to cry.
I mostly cry because I'm sad or worried or scared. I get sad over the littlest things, such as when my grandparents leave our house after spending a few days, or someone's sick, or I'm quite worried about something. Now, if I was at a job, and something came up where I needed to cry, and I did, my boss would definitely fire me.
Hi! Well yes like everyone has said, crying is a natural thing and I use to hold everything in like my anger and my sadness, and my disappointment. But guess what? I’ve learned how to express myself and how I feel to people. It took a really long time and it took my vision for me to open my eyes. And not hold stuff back. Because if you do that’s when the inner torment begins. It almost sounds like you have a lot of anxiety and that’s why you cry a lot. Like someone said. Try to go see someone in person who you can talk to. I have to say sometimes just telling someone how you feel is a great load off your sholders. When you know they are listening to you, and might be able to give you some sajestions. But don’t just go to a friend because even though you might think that they could help you it might not be for the best. Go to someone who will look at any of your problems with a different point of view. Because that’s where you will get the help you will need.
Crying is healthy.
If you find you cry a lot, you aare depressed, angry, etc and may want to go to a counseling survice.
Your body is telling you something is wrong and it needs to be delt with.
I cry at times as does everyone.
Well, I've never thought of it that way. You cry because that's you're body's way of telling you something's wrong?
It's a natural stress-reliever. I often find I am tired and have a nagging headache after I've had time to sit and bawl for a bit, but for some strange reason, I feel better.
Crying is natural in everyone's life--you can't go through life without having a cry once in a while or even more. I also find that when I cry, I have a headache and I always have to blow my nose, when I don't even have a cold.
I blow my nose when I cry. Yes, you do feel better afterward.
I cry a lot to. I remember quite recently I was crying when I was going to the bus for college. The driver just asked what was wrong and let me keep on crying. In my opinion that's better just let them go on with it. I feel better to after crying, all though some times a bit sick. But that could be my medication for depression and anxiety.
You all are right, crying is good. The only problem is, my mom would sometimes scold me when I cried. I really don't think that's right! When my mom would scold me for crying, I was sad, but I wasn't throwing a fit like a 2 year old. I was just crying. Now, I just put on a happy face so my parents won't think anything's wrong. After so long, they notice, but I'm getting better at acting like nothing's wrong.
they should not discourage you from crying--cry all you want and to hell with everyone else.
my thoughts exactly. I'll certainly be doing a lot of that tomorrow.
Your parents should not scold you because you are crying. How stupid!
I agree with alot of you guys. But, not all of it is right. Now, don't get me wrong, crying is awesome, and, good for you etc. But, diew to issues, (alot of them) in the past that i'm sertainly not gunna go in to here, i can't cry. Litrally, just can't. I've tried, but, litrally just can't. It's like i have an emotion shut down. Like, i can be sad as anything, and, just, nothing.
I no that's kinda off topic, but, hey, you wanna stop crying, and, i wanna learn how to again. lol
Any ideas? lol
Sky.
Try watching the most depressing movie you can think of. If you're in to war movies, i'd recommend We were Soldiers. If that one doesn't make you cry, I don't know what will.
Some times I get that, when you want to cry but nothing happens. But not offten.
I would like to echo the oppinions of previous posters. To the original poster, You may really be suffering with depression. If crying has become a big problem, try to talk out your issues with other people. If you can't talk then write them down. This really does help. Once you have the words in front of you, it helps to release some of the stress and anxiety. Exercise, music, a hot bath or some other form of stress-relief would also probably help you. I was depressed in second grade. I'd find myself crying and I didn't even know why. So, I'd just make stuff up. A lot of people have negative views of counseling, but believe me, it can really be helpful. Also, if something traumatic has happened, it is even more important to get this out in the open. Like another poster stated, if you're crying over things that most people would find quite trivial, some behavior modification may be necessary. In either case, the sooner you let someone who can help you about your crying problem, the better off you'll be. Depression really sucks. When I finally got over mine, I felt a lot better. Don't do what I did and make up reasons why you were crying. In my case, I didn't know why, but you have been quite honest, and a counselor could really help you sort through these feelings.
I totally agree.
loosing someone you love will make you cry but don't kill someone to do so.
I cry a lot to. it helps me and in the end I feel a little better.
I cry a lot too. Lately I've been holding it back and lettig it bottle up inside. I knowthat's not right of course. I'm trying to find ways to stop this and let it all out
Writing in a journal, and if that doesn't help, just talking to someone who has gone through a similar situation. Or, if you're more of a physical person, acquire a punching bag and take your frustration out on that. Pillows work just as well.
I find that I am unable to cry these days. I think it's because of all the shit I held inside for years.
So, cry, cry while you still can because it is a healthy thing.
Same problem as the others of you...I can't cry. I mean, sometimes a few tears come out, but only like once every few months. Even when things are awful, I can't cry. Sad movies and books don't work either. Someone teach me how. It'd be such a nice stress reliever. I used to cry normally...but ever since July of 2006 I...don't? Can't? Weird.
I think we should all work on this.
I have to strongly disabree with the people who suggest that having trouble not crying is a sign of depression. It's at least better to say "may be" but really, I'm more concerned for the people who can't cry. that's much more of a sign some healing is needed and is getting ignored.
some of us just plain cry more easily and have trouble not crying. I don't think anyone knows why but I suspect that ins some places, times, or cultures people cried as easily as they laughed and some of us just lack the ability that society requires of us to stifle it. I cry easily and laugh easily and am no more able to stop one than the other. I wonder if the people who have trouble crying would benefit from the laughing groups that are becoming more popular these days. Or just renting a video you find hilariously funny.
Dealing with unstoppable crying isn't as easy as saying "don't worry what people think." In this society it really can hurt you to cry at what are considered the wrong times.
I think it's worth thinking of it as something like being blind. It's part of who you are and probably something you can't change and isn't inherently a bad thing and you can be totally self-accepting but that doesn't mean the people around you are and it doesn't mean you wont' face discrimination because of it. Unlike blindness, is isn't constant and thus you have a little wiggle room interms of the situations where you are going to face attitudinal problems. In other words, you can learn to pass a little and make your life a little easier.
for one thing, you probably have some place on your face that you can press on to stem the tears. I find the place between my eyes or the tip of my nose helps AS it's about to happen, if an opportunity arises you can also murmur something like "man, I've got an awful headache." or "does anyone have an aspirin?" and then if a few tears leak people just feel for how bad that headache must be. Or you can pull out a tissue and blow your nose and murmure something about allergies.
Another thing you can do, if you know you are going to be in situations where crying will probably happen, give yourself crying time in the morning or before you go out. It's not bad for you to pull out something you reall are very sad about and cry over it. Gives you a little opportunity to deal with that sadness as well as just pllain wearing out the crying reaction. Try it. You can also try promising yourself time to cry later and see if that works. Probably won't work for everyone who crys a lot.
I also caution you if you aare about to go into therapy. For some people, leaking a few tears out is hard and that tends to impress therapists. It's a real time measure that the therapy is helping. but for those of us who cry easily and often can't prevent crying, when we really deal with something that really is that sort of therapy breakthrough, the crying will be much more intense and therapists can tend to see it as a sign the problem is more serious and that you are in a more precarious state than the actuality. and if you have spent your life hearing that all that crying is a sign something is wrong with you, you are more likely to believe this verdict than question it and end up inappropriately diagnosed and treated for somethinh that doesn't exist.
Wow this is really a meaningful post.
I think the "crying mechanism" is often malfunctioning. The reason for this, and I have witnessed this, is that someone starts to cry and someone else says, "don't cry."
This is a sad thing indeed to behold.
Katie, I have an idea for crying. Crying is natural and we all do it. I love down moods because it's when I write my best writings. Crying sometimes comes with that. I go off somewhere alone and cry if I have to cry, and I write. I think it's natural... but after all most of you are neuortypicals...
Writing is definitely my version of crying.
Hmmm.
I am extremely ashamed to cry. I do have severe depression.
Well, if you want to cry, Just sing a song I know called how can I help you say goodbye. I'll teach it to you if you'd like. That's the saddest song I've ever heard.
Hey, don't you think crying relieves sometimes? You should not swallow the thing that makes you sad. You make things worse by doing that. Cry yourself out, I'd say. It's not good, you may swallow some pride (sorry to say that, I don't mean it in a bad way) and just cry yourself out. Secretly, if you don't want anyone to know, but cry yourself out. You just can't prevent it and if you can, it certainly is not good for you. Someday you'd burst. Trust me I know that. If you want to talk more, fee lfree to PM me, okay? Just an offer.
God bless
Ines
And, christian councelling helped me, praying about it with someone to see where the sadness comes from, and just crying and handing the pain over to God. I am not sure if I remember correctly that you are a hristian, please correct me if I am horribly wrong. I am not saying "normal" councellers, or let#s say, so it sounds less offending, just non-christian councellers, abe better ,and it may help better for others than christian ones, but I am jst saying what helped me with my problems.
Sorry that I reply the third time in a row, but I keep remembering things to add. I feel the same sometimes, crying over the smallest things. When friends leave our house, every happy-end-movie, when someone prays for me - but hey, I don't mind. I love to be a sensitive little girl. No seriously. I still think it is wrong of your parents to scold you for crying. They should either comfort oyu or just let you cry, that is the most helpful thing. You can not pretend and make a happy face. This is horrible. But somehow I understand you. I never dared to cry in front of my parents, either. Until recently. I was too ashamed they would laugh at me or yell at me or whatever. I know what you mean.
My Dad has had difficulties recognizing that I have clinical depression, so when I cry, (although I am ashamed of it), I usually try to do it in secret, or with someone other than my Mom (who also discounts my depression) and/or my Dad around.
Yeah it is a shame that you somehow seem to be able to cry easier in front of others than in front of your parents. I wonder if our parents know that. But yeah, really don't be ashamed to cry.
Very strange topic, I must say. If you feel you need to cry, just cry. If you're stressed or upset more than you'd like to be, get help.
My emotions haven't been very stable, since me and my boyfriend had a big argument. It got to the point that love songs made me cry. Yes, love songs. But everything is ok now, and I feel better.
I’ll give you this little tip this gentleman gave me indirectly. I am trying to use it myself.
Instead of thinking negatively and thinking negative thoughts, think positively. Have an ego and look at the world with a proud person’s perspective.
I was just crying on Friday, and I have just noticed, everytime I do, it’s because of my negativity. I could be pretty negative, especially to today society, when conformity is almost like law.
Maybe everytime you feel ready to cry you can say to yourself
“I cann and I will do better than that. I will, and I can!!!!”
Also to the person who wants to cry, I would suggest you don’t, but I do suggest that you don’t suppress your emotions.
You know I remember very clearly the sceen I am about to explain to you. No, I wasn’t crying, but I was very very angry. How this guy assisted me was he made me feel important, was sincere and praised me over the top. No, he wasn’t being fake either.
Well, it was August and I had went on a trip as my camp I went to extended that opportunity. I was on a boat, and I was paired with this gentleman, and I found he agreed with me. So, I just ranted, maybe for four hours… I don’t know how long, but I was angry because society was so bad, and is still, but I know I could do better. Well, he practically did nothing else but listen and praised me. I felt great after that, practically like I was soaring over the rest. So, for those who are angry or cries a lot, perhaps find a person who would praise you sincerely, might be good.
you know, I know this is an old thread but it helped me. I think I'm homesick this semester of college. I find myself just getting really melancholy all of a sudden. I actually had to skip my last class on Thursday to come back to the dorm and cry. But I was getting teary in class all day.
These tips help. Maybe if I start feeling bad in the morning I'll just cry it out because it does make you feel better.
But you can't just change the way you think. It's not that easy, believe me, I try. It takes a lot of positive reinforcement, and it's really hard to shake off those feelings.
So thanks for the crying tips.
I get so angry when parents scold their children about crying! I feel like that is so wrong. Okay, if the child is crying because he can’t have his way, then that is fine with me. When some adults can’t get their way, they curse and carry on like mad people. So, what is the harm in a child crying? I’d rather see that someone is crying rather than cursing and carrying on like a fool. When I have my children, I will not scold them ever for crying. It is their right to have whatever emotions they want at the moment, and it is not my right to take that from them.
It also really gets on my nerves when parents try to masculinize boys. When boys cry, they tell them to shut up and turn it off and be tough. And now we wonder why there are so many men who are heartless abusers. They were denied their emotions at a tender age. Men can cry, too, and they should do it freely. Nobody and I mean no-body will masculinize any of my sons. My family may try, but if they do, they will hear from me.
I was scolded for crying when I was a child also. Unfortunately, because of being an Aspie who sees things in black and white, I took it that it is horrible to cry at all. So, I don’t cry. I don’t even show when I’m in pain. There was a time I busted my head open, and I just went to my mother and told her very calmly that I need stitches. I won’t even allow my parents or people I love to be in the room with me if I’m having a painful procedure because I have it in my mind that they will not ever see my weaknesses. Over the years, I’ve be lauded for my extremely high pain tolerance and my toughness by my parents, other family members and friends. They think that it is the absolute best thing in the world that I’m so tough. But, I wonder, is it really?
I have some anger issues, and I feel like that is from suppressing what I feel all those years and even now. I wish I was like you and could let it out. Unfortunately, I just can’t do that.
tears are very healthy for you. i think everyone on here has said something very good and i dont know if i can say more hehe
Yes I agree crying does help. I have been doing a lot lately. I to have Clinical depression and it seem to get worse in the summer.